Monday, January 24, 2011


  Seventeen was like an amazing book, borrowed from the library. Perfect beginning, perfect ending (it had to end, eventually. It was borrowed.) I had also found perfection in every imperfection, every storyline that completed the story.

The beginning:
  The librarian was a lovely lady, who smiled at me as I handed her the book. I grinned back, mostly because I was finally getting my favourite book -one I had been waiting to borrow for quite a while ago.

  My friends were all there, a big group of them, along with my family. The sky was blue and clear and we had a barbecue at my party. They stayed till the sun had to go, and we talked under the moon and stars. Seventeen, I could hardly believe it.

  It was the best year of my life, so far. It had the highest tops, and the lowest downs. But everything turned out okay in the end. It always does.

  The whole year was a process, a storyline. I had a vision, a dream at the beginning of the year, and I knew that I had to achieve it, that I will achieve it. But I had no idea then how it would go. So, I learnt.

  I learnt that just believing is not enough -you have to get out there and do your homework. I learnt that by shooting so high, you are bound to fall. But you must never, ever think it's the end. You need to climb back up, even with your wounded heart, and collect your energy again, because one day, you are going to need it again. I learnt that sometimes, you might not get the exact same thing you were craving for, but that sometimes, it's also okay. And also, the universe always knows better than you, so you can trust it once you've given it enough to work with.

  I had my heart broken. Not by a person, like what everyone usually thinks. But by my dream. It was so near, so near! I could just reach out and it might have been mine. But no, my fingers wouldn't touch them. I cried. It sounds like just the stupidest thing ever, but I couldn't help it. I've been hungering for it for years, and it seemed like it still wouldn't let me bite into it.
  After a week, I told myself that I had to get back up. Note that I never once cursed the universe. Never. I knew that there would be something better out there, and that sometimes, we lose the good things to make room for the great things. But I had been put off balance. Shaken, at least a little.

  I pulled myself back together. There was still that taste of the 'first love' lingering in my mind -it had been too strong. For the first time, I had really felt. I searched, to find the answer, something, that would prove that losing that was a good thing. It was hard. Very, very hard. Sometimes, it felt like nothing else was even as good as that.

  I went back to 'normal' life. I would have missed the high school graduation, if I'd gone after that dream. But things being so, I attended. It was experience.

  Last year was also the year that I met my agent. She was a friendly lady; small, with a big laugh. I loved her laugh!
   Five months before December, she reminded me that I had to work hard. Very hard. That gave me a purpose, something to work for. I studied, squeezed every little detail into my brain. It was horribly good. Before exhaustion set in. But then, it was over.
  My results were considerably good. Not exceptional, as it was not even something I enjoy. But good.

  I would also add that I attended at least 5 interviews. Like two a week. Something went horribly wrong at the first one and I found my head empty, my thoughts run away. But here's the lesson: making mistakes is okay, as long as you learn from it. I realised that, and went about seeing what I had to do. The best part was I totally enjoyed the last interview. It was so fun!

  What I wanted came true, and right now, I'm right where I belong and totally love. I would also like to add that quotes made up a huge part of my year and progress. Inspirational quotes. And also, Nirrimi Hakanson (the next great person ever to have lived). Thank you.

  The date stamped on the back of the book came. A little too fast, it seemed. I kind of wanted to still hold on to it, but I realise that this was the best that it was. If the story went on for too long, it might even turn bland. Short and sweet. Perfect.

  As I walked through the huge (and heavy) wooden gates of the library, I hugged the book tighter to my chest. When I reached the reception, I saw that there was a different librarian. All around me, in that huge library, were people at tables, people behind the books, people around me. They didn't seem to notice that I was going to return a book that had turned out to be one of my favourites. A few smiled at me. Three of my friends (new friends) were behind me. 'Hey, I thought you were going to return that book?' one asked, as I paused for a moment. 'Yeah, I am.' I replied distractedly.

  This librarian was nice too, and as the previous one did, this one smiled at me too. I smiled in return. Then, I really smiled. It was okay. I was just returning the book. It was still there in the library, and the storyline wouldn't change. Perfect.

*picture does not belong to me

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