Wednesday, February 29, 2012

wearing flowers.

Ever had been sitting in the camera bag on the floor of my room for a little too long, and my craving to shoot came back. I'd been looking for someone to model for me for awhile already, so when I discovered that a new floor-mate of mine, Caitlin, was a drama student, I decided to ask her if she would like to join me for a photoshoot.
We decided on going out today, since it was one of the days in which we were both free. And after all the wet-sprinkly days, the best pleasant surprise was seeing the sun's glowing face before we set out.

We strolled down the streets near where we live with pretty houses, stopping whenever we thought might be suitable to pose and capture. Between chatters and pictures, it was one of the most fun photoshoot I've ever had. Looking forward to many more! :)

Sunday, February 26, 2012


  Putting all thoughts about assignments and 'have to-dos' aside, I spent a whole evening trying to snap the idea I had in my head into a real picture. And boy did I learn that self portraits aren't that easy!

  First, I tried creating a background with the spare blue blanket I had. Using cellophane tape, I stuck it on the wall behind my bed, leaving just about a foot to skim the bottom. I then piled up the bubble wrap I had -I was going for a conceptual thing- in a squarish clump in the middle of the frame, where I would seat myself. Turning to my camera on its tripod opposite the set-up, I looked into the viewfinder and tried imagining and thus, adjusting the composition. The bubble wrap was hardly visible. So I got some of my hardback books, using them to raise the seat. 
  However, when I tried my first shot, the 'seat' sank into the mattress, giving me a baby blue picture with a dark rectangular shape in the middle -my back. It took me a couple more shots to decide to change my location and so I moved to the floor, where this time, I stuck the blanket to the bathroom door and around the corners where the door frame met the wall. I lowered my tripod, tied a mask behind my head, and tried shooting again. Again, the camera seemed to be too close to me. I stretched myself out across the floor to adjust, and tried again. And again.  
  When it'd seemed to work okay, I poured out the skittles. A palmful. I set the self-timer off again and returned to my position. However, I either threw the skittles in the air a little too early or a little too late. It's crazy how much it took of me to remind myself to be patient and try again, and again.

  I can't remember why I then convinced myself that I should take a shower first -probably because I haven't had dinner yet- but I left my room in the state that it was and did so. After my shower, my friend invited me to join them for dinner -and a very good one indeed!- so what I have left now is a room scattered with skittles, decorated as mess as well as having learnt to hold out longer (or patience). 

  I don't think I'll go into how I like things to happen quickly, despite my head knowing that time exist so that everything doesn't happen all at once. But anyway, here's one of the only presentable pictures from today's 'session': a nicely squashed Skittle which I stepped on.

My head's rolling down my arm now, and I've got a cycling trip planned with my friend tomorrow. So till the next time then! (And I promise that I'll get that self portrait taken) :)

Monday, February 20, 2012


  I know I haven't been blogging much lately. I've just been experiencing a lot of inner change, where I've truly decided to hold the reins of my life in my own hands again and make sure that I know I'm in-charged of my life and how I influence my own thoughts, feelings and vibration.

"...all the best secrets are hidden in plain view."
–'The Lost Symbol' by Dan Brown

I've also truly discovered how true wisdom cannot really be shared. Or well, perhaps you can, only it is up to others to understand it. It's always there, only most don't always see. Wisdom cannot be taught, it can only be discovered. Which put me off so many times I thought I wanted to write here, when I realised that it might not be of much used (yet). Instead, I filled up half my journal in just a span of one month, which pleased me.

I guess that I've been up and I've been down. And more words tend to pour forth when I'm down, which I do not post here for I would so much prefer to spread prettier thoughts -it's like a responsibility I have for my blog (and the world, actually); and I make sure that the life span of negative thoughts short ones. Then there were the times where I wasn't exactly happy, but I wasn't sad either. Those were the periods of peace. Calm and comforting. There probably isn't much pushing force in those, but it's nice to have them.

For today, I've been feeling a little strange. I don't think I've ever felt this before (it feels something like the 'sort of' poem I came up with in the post before this). There were times when I felt like there was pent up frustration in me, and what I'd wanted to do was to go running; allow them to unravel out of me in a trail behind, I'd imagine; run them all away. This one was much stronger. One which brings to the verge of destruction. (The caffeine worked a little too well, perhaps. Which made it worse for it trapped me in the middle space; and sights, sounds and imagination overwhelmed me.)
(Feelings aid in the creations of artists. I know, so I try to make the most use of them when they do come.)

Then I stumbled upon the quote below, and that brought me the most peace I've had today.

“This is my wish for you: 
Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life.” 
– author unknown

Sweet dreams, love. xx


there's a snake thrashing inside her,
its body thick and sinewy,
a rope full of energy;
she thinks it's a brown python.

it's fed on thoughts inside her head,
sights through those eyes that have no gates;
taking up residence like they own this space,
they stir rage from beneath that pretty face.

stares stroll past with gravel steps,
her eyes dart with insecurity;
the clambering sentences pick up speed,
she runs in and collapse.

breathe. breathe. breathe.
hard and strong. furious.
pent up; letting it out.
she listens to those unnatural gushes.

she looks into the mirror and the perfect face stares back.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

too many.

Oh you see all the prints, the marks they leave behind. And they all come and rub and exploit you for nothing more than your pretty face.

Can you understand why I say no to all, to almost all. How I know that I only want that one in life and no one else. In that way, in that way.

Because when they're all colours, his glows.

*I really love that video, and all three of the videos which I've just seen by the very same person. The concepts are interesting and the pictures and colours too pretty to resist. <3