Thursday, June 27, 2013

daily photo project

I realise that I don't really want to talk about it anymore, but let's just say that out of the chaos that hounded my mind around a month ago, this project was born. I had a good long talk with my love who was as supportive as ever, and I decided to start taking a photo a day, giving me something to focus on instead of flailing around blindly. 

So far, I have received nothing but support from those closest to me which I am eternally grateful for. I post each new photo on flickr as well as on my personal facebook account, so you might have seen them, but for those of you who haven't and are interested, here are some of my favourite so far (click on the text to read the description on flickr!). 

I did miss a few days, but apart from those which I have valid reasons for, I have surprised myself by going this far as I never used to be able to properly stick through my projects. Maybe it's because I have a stronger push for this one and more solid goals. 

Anyhow, this project is more for myself and my own growth, but I share it because it took me this to remember how I have the ability to inspire others which always comes as a pleasant surprise. I'm excited to see where I'll go with this :)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

larger than life

the supermoon as we saw it across the water and our hands intertwined, the almost visible veins as life force flowing through our hands.


I think I've heard that young love was wild, but I don't know. Maybe it's us, maybe we found each other two decades after we were both born, or maybe love doesn't need to be completely insane to be real. 

I guess I have always known what I wanted out of life, or at least the more important bits, which makes feeling lost all the harder for me before remembering that that is where faith comes in. The being able to fully know something even before you can see it. I was talking to a good friend a few months back and she told me that she'd always thought finding someone who was your perfect match was a miracle, to which I said that it is. Even after having you, it never feels any less than a miracle and it always leaves me in awe to consciously realise how wonderful we are. Our love is like the constant stream of energy flowing through all of life, throughout the universe, the same force that holds solar systems and galaxies together.

Being apart for a few weeks was odd, but I have surprised myself by coping so much better than I had imagined. I guess I had needed some time to learn to be me again. We were together so often it was almost like we were literally one, and it took stepping back a bit for me to remember that I can stand on my own two feet. You want someone who would walk by you, not a cripple you have to drag along and in any case, I cannot allow myself to be completely reliant on another. So I kept busy. Work is a good distraction because I couldn't strain myself wasting pointless strength missing people. After all, we both wholly know that we love one another, the kind of relationship without doubts I've always wanted. Still, every little thing reminded me of you. 

Then you came to visit. I can't remember the last time I was that happy. It's the easiest thing in the world to be around you. We stayed close all the time and I love the way you would hold me when we sat at the back of the car. I was eager to fill you in with little stories from the memories I have of this town where I spent most of my time growing up and somehow still not know how to navigate my way around its roads. I'm almost sorry how I allow the rest of the world to all fade away when I'm with you, because there are really good friends out there too, but it happens without even me realising it. I guess it's like I've always known, that I rather put all my heart into one than spread myself out thin. 

On Sunday, we had dinner with your parents at a beachside restaurant. When we'd finished our dinner, I said that I wanted to go out on the beach and your mum told us to run along. I laughed when you stared at the low wall separating the restaurant and the beach, asking how we were to get over, and clambered across. You followed suit and we walked down the sand, you complaining how the sand was getting in your slippers. I put my arm around you and told you that it didn't matter, and we walked down arm-in-arm towards the water where we could see the other side of the land where the buildings were lit. I noticed that the moon appeared to be slightly larger than usual and you told me to take a photo which I shrugged off at first but then proceeded to dig in my bag for my camera a moment later. I'm glad that I did so, because it now gives me a photo to share along with these words. I didn't know it was a supermoon then, not till you told your dad about it in the car and then me seeing photos on the internet the next day. And it didn't hit me till you texted me that night, telling me that we'd kissed under the supermoon that it all came back. 

We were standing there, commenting on something insignificant that was probably about trying to guess the name of a lit building across the water from where we stood, then you turned over and kissed me quickly on the lips. On the beach, out in the open air, under not just a moon, but a supermoon. It was like something from a book or movie scene, except that it was us and that makes it even better. 

I still keep thinking about it, the way I've always been in awe of our love. Oh, I know I've said this before (and I'm also aware of how I'm writing like a girl in love, which I don't actually mind because I am; I only want to lose the cliches in writing), but you're everything I've ever dreamt of and more!