I really want to write. I haven't really written anything for so long, especially for myself; and with all of that cooped up inside, they played some kind of games to pass their time. I'm not happy with them.
I don't really know how time passes these days. They have seemed to run together into an infinite ball of wool, which hits against the wall and bounces back and I just stare at it and wonder what kind of ball is that in the world. That thing is soft -purposeless; it's scratchy like the wool it looks like -unruly and common.
I want to get the diamond back.
Well, I'm not sure if that had been what I had set out to write, but I am wondering where my love has strayed to. My insides are clenched, I realise that maybe it's me closing myself in, and wonder why. I breathe deeply to remind myself that I'm alive.
Let's talk about places, for you've heard me speak of my passion a million and ten times before -although I will always somehow go back to them, for they are what keeps me here. I have travelled afar, by my own will. And now, enough time has passed for me to be able to look back and wonder.
I remember her. She was younger than me, definitely; and unquestionably, had much less experience than what I have now. But she had a big heart full of dreams and courage to see them through, and I hope that she has brought that along to this time she once called the future. I love her dearly, and now I remind her to love herself in case she had took that off her mind and forgotten to put it back in. For that is the love she needs the most. When she could not get any from any other place, this was the one which she could still have as well as satisfy her the most.
I have brought myself far to see my dreams before my eyes, and life brought me home, to remind me of all I am grateful for, before sending me off again at the airport.
I've met various new people, turned some into wonderful friends and then said goodbyes. But more come in and even when I think I'm tired, we make each other laugh and I realise that this is what we are supposed to do -we don't stop. We never should.
Then there are they whose homes are just a bus or train's trip away. For me, honestly, I don't really know what to feel about that. I somehow can never bring myself to envy them, for even though at peak times of my laziness when I just don't feel like bringing myself to cook, I puzzle over how they do not seem to mind living at the same pin-prick of the earth. Looking back, looking forward and in any direction of my life, I simply cannot imagine myself doing that. Not running out of those boundaries created by seas and oceans, to explore, but more importantly perhaps, just to see. Witness with our own bare naked eyes how beautiful this earth is...
I had made my decisions and whether I had consciously or subconsciously realised the sacrifices that I would be making, I do not regret this life. Never have, never will. I stand grateful.
ps. It felt great writing. Just letting stuff out, constructing sentences and watching them fit. Just running the fingers of my mind along the strings of sentences. I feel at home.
*I found that picture above from somewhere I have now forgotten. :P
LOL! This is a snapshot from a silent movie I watched for film class. Found it ticklishly humourous.
It's been a while since I've written a real post, well, I'm not sure about you, but I do feel like it has been a while. Especially a written one. With real thoughts and inspiration.
I guess that I wouldn't really say that I've been busy? But I think I have been a little taken over by life's pace... and I think I'm losing track of where I actually want to go. I have also perhaps been just flowing along with what comes and while it might seem alright now, I have suspicions that I wouldn't perform as well as I actually really want to if I don't do something to change it now.
Anyway, I found a little something, and I thought that it would be nice to share it here.
If it can inspire you even as much as it can for me, I would say that I'm just glad to have been able to share. :)
22 Ways to Become Spectacularly Inspirational
1. Do important work vs. merely offering opinions.
2. Lift people up vs. tear others down.
3. Use the words of leadership vs. the language of victimhood.
4. Don’t worry about getting the credit for getting things done.
5. Become part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
6. Take your health to a level called superfit.
7. Commit to mastery of your craft instead of accepting mediocrity in your work.
8. Associate with people whose lives you want to be living.
9. Study for an hour a day. Double your learning and you’ll triple your success.
10. Run your own race. “No one can possibly achieve real and lasting success by being a conformist,” wrote billionaire J. Paul Getty
11. Do something small yet scary every single day.
12. Lead Without a Title.
13. Focus on people’s strengths vs. obsessing around their weaknesses.
14. Remember that potential unused turns into pain. So dedicate yourself to expressing your best.
15. Smile more.
16. Listen more.
17. Read the autobiography of Nelson Mandela.
18. Reflect on the words of Eleanor Roosevelt who said: “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”
19. Persist longer than the critics suggest you should.
These aren't really the best photos I have taken; some are overexposed, some out-of-focused, some with too harsh lighting the list goes on -well, ok, mainly coz I didn't really try. But it was a little something we did at PhotoSoc (short for Photographic Society) for halloween, which was one of our best meetings ever.
Our president, Shannen, was absolutely amazing at face-painting! She did stunning jobs with those that offered their faces. I wanted to have mine done as well, except that I didn't want to have it painted just to go home twenty minutes later to have it washed off.
But it was pretty fun. Oh, and I fell in love with the Canon 5D Mark II. That. Amazing. and. Gorgeous. Beauty.
That baby was heavy though. My friend suggested that I had to go and work out in the gym, doing some weight lifting before I get myself one of my own.
For some awesome explanation I have yet to find out, the MTV EMAs were hosted in Belfast this year. I don't think that this little city has seen so much life and excitement before, and everything was pretty crazy.
A few days before its actual day, my friend and I saw the stage being put up, during one of our visits to the city. Just with that, there was already the stir of excitement.
I watched Snow Patrol perform live. It was amazing, even though I wasn't really quite close enough to be able to see their faces. I've only been to two concerts in my life, this being the second, and I think one of the most awesome feelings is singing along with the live band to your heart's content, albeit your voice being lost among thousands of others.
The city hall was lit up as if in sync with the stage lights that radiated, twirled and flashed within the dark of the evening ostentatiously, belting out loud how brilliant it was. Our eyes couldn't help but absorb it all up.
I think somehow, it wasn't enough, being just in the audience for me. Every once in a while, my eyes would stray to the sweeping broadcasting film cameras that hovered just above the sea of heads. It made me imagined the day when I would be one of those who participated in creating the event and making it happen.
I remember somehow quite clearly a couple standing right next to me and my friends, hugging, the whole way through. I remember the new friend who so kindly offered me to stand in the better spot, just so that I could see better through Ever's eye. I also remember the group of awesome friends I was with, and how they made everything somehow even better than it was. (There was also at the end, how the streets were bathed in squashed plastic cups, empty bottles and litter and wasn't at all pleasant trying to wade your feet through it.)
After it all, I returned with sore feet, aching arms from holding Ever up in the crowd to record and obtain proof of my attendance to one of the coolest things in the world, shivery cold cells, an almost full SD card as well as clothes that smelled awfully of cigarette smoke. Which was somehow still all worth it.