Sunday, January 27, 2013

all the difference in the world.

do you feel your words when you write them? or are you just repeating what others say.


There were so many times I wanted to say sorry; sorry for everything. Like the times I allowed months and more months to crawl by before I manage to send off a reply to the message you wrote me years ago; the times I stood aside and did nothing when all I wanted was everything; the times I wished I'd been able to hold you up when the hurricane danced past and the ground beneath swayed. I'm sorry for not being as happy as often as I wish I could be. And still a thousand more times, but I never did. I never did because apologies have no power in all the other greater things like love.

Love, oh love. What do we know about love. I could write all about it for this entire lifetime and further still, but love isn't about length or quantity. Love is and only can be in the present, this very moment. It is that alignment of energy, what they call peace, harmony, the gentle swoon in your heart when everything feels right. Perhaps it is those times when another speaks the exact same words as you; those times where you discover a part of you in another; those times conversations just go on and on because the interaction feels so good; and also, maybe in those full silences. Something I think I have yet to learn because I still feel the need to fill those hollows between me and another with words and meanings; maybe I'm still too young to sit in silence with another...

This isn't a post of anything but just of me writing. Scratching out the chaos that has been trudging thoughts in my mind of late, when I'd much rather they be light and skip. And if it has been to you that I haven't been writing back to (which I'm also pretty sure it's you, even if we haven't been writing to one another but just of you reading my blog, because I haven't been posting much recently and I'm trying to right that), know that I am deeply sorry and I'm just trying to lean back into the waters of writing and I'll write you a beautiful piece.

Talk soon.

Friday, January 25, 2013

black holes and revelations.

Here are a few more photos from my shoot with Laura Irvine a few months back that I finally got around to edit. 

Model: Laura Irvine
Photographer: Yi Lin T
Wardrobe: Model's own
MUA: Shauneen Moynagh

And a behind-the-scenes with Shauneen who was our MUA.

If you're interested in a shoot with me, don't hesitate to send me an email at tayylin(at)!

Friday, January 18, 2013


letter and present from the loveliest Alexis!

January's a mess of unplans; days blending into one another without the blocks of class schedules. I allow my days to drain away until I realise and feel absolutely so terrible and just bounce back up again. Yesterday, I craved to be busy again like I had been weeks ago before I realised that what I wanted was actually to be in the mood for things; to be alive. And then sometimes I find it again.

Today I edited the photos I'd taken on a photo walk with my friend a few days ago and discovered that I was pleased with them.

And the last one is a box parcel from wonderful Madeline. The postman hadn't managed to catch me at home, so he left a slip instead asking me to collect it from the main post office instead. So that morning, I got up at eight and left after breakfast, finding my way with google maps, and three people along the way, who finally managed to direct me to the right place. It was all worth it though. 

I felt like I'd walked the entire town that day and my limbs ached. Still, that reminded me of travelling and I'd choose it over hiding away in my room all day.



so it has finally snowed here and I'm ridiculously excited about it. I'm all jumpy and happy and keep skipping to the window to watch the flakes flutter down. I had even walked through the falling dripples to get my camera which I had left at home, and so here's a photo I'd gotten :)


into deep nights and before dawns

I'm crashing on another couch again tonight. If it's not theirs, it's this. It seems like I can't stay in one place, not even here where I have a home, or at least what is a room and a bed of my own. It's suffocating in there. I know it's warm, and I like it warm, but the lack of human interaction just bothers me now the way it never has before. Tell me what alone time was like again, because I don't remember. 

I was birthing poetry in the shower earlier (in which I spent something like half an hour in because it was cold earlier in the day and my limbs were painted with sprouted goosebumps), tracing it into the misty glass doors in hope that it'll stay, at the very least, with me for a little longer. I think about the dream I had last night again, the one where we touched (although it was really just me leaning onto your chest and you holding onto me) and how right it felt. It feels like I'm new to all of this, even though I think I've done it before, but it feels just oh so right so I let it be and try not to think too much because I'm hoping that this time I'll be better than I ever have before and that we'll make it through. 

I barely write about you the way I'd written about the others (albeit cryptically) last times. It isn't anything, except that for some reason, I find that this actually works so much better than all those fighting against my feelings which I'd done before. I don't know how this started, honestly, I don't, but it's like all I can do is feel and I think I'll follow that.

I'm glad I feel for you. What's better is you seem to do too, and that makes me smile inside. I can't wait to see you again.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


While I'm editing my photos from my travels and working on my assignments, here are some photos I haven't yet shared on my blog. These feature my friend, Charlotte, and are also some of my favourite photos I've ever shot till now. I'd actually submitted them to an online magazine, which was why I'd taken so long to share them even though I love these, but I didn't make it. Which I guess is okay, because it was only my second attempt, but I do hope that some will get published this year.

Hope your days are wonderful! I have many more photos and stories to come soon!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

adventures with my red boots

Around two and a half weeks ago, I flew to LA and met my family there for the holidays. It was a journey of about twenty hours across continents and I flew alone, yet I was as unfazed as one might be just taking a drive down into town. I have had many people comment on this before, even relatives more than three times my age. They tell me in awe about how brave I am, and how they would not have the courage to do that, but I don't understand. To me, there isn't much difference between walking downtown on my own and flying around the world on my own, apart from all those bothersome airport security checks. The world is my neighbourhood, and rather, what would frighten me so much more is the thought of just staying in one small place all my life.

We spent two weeks as a family; living in one room American inns and once, a pretty little suburb house; walking and travelling around places in California everyday; and me, taking photos. I didn't think I took as much as I used to before because I tried to frame the scenes before I hit the shutter button so rather than just a memory card full of canted wonky photos, I would actually get better quality ones. That did work, although I think I still took as much as ever -there were one or two days where I barely took more than ten photos though.

I have now walked on Californian beaches, sunk my boots in snow at the Grand Canyon (which was wonderful wonderful wonderful!), gone down corridors of inns (which reminded me of scenes from movies), strolled down the Hollywood Walk of Fame and trodden on the carpet in the, then Kodak, now Dolby, theatre where the Academy Awards have been held, as well as walked down casino aisles in Las Vegas, just to name a few. It was and still is winter there, but the sun still shone on merrily and walking in its puddles were always warmer.

I missed the UK at first, and got myself a little muddles up over the exchange rate in the beginning, but then I fell in love with the mist-rimmed mountains that both surrounded us and lined the horizon while we drove through the freeways from city to city and the marmalade sun especially during golden hours. And I think it's because I'd never expected to miss it that it surprises me how much I actually do miss the place after returning to this little gloomy creature of Belfast.

Now I have those photos from my camera to edit, but while waiting, here are the ones I'd taken on my little phone camera -which is far from fantastic, but I found that it is actually able to produce pretty decent photos with good lighting- and edited on instagram (yes, guilty as charged. But I like adding colour to my photos and that was the most convenient -and slightly addictive- way to do it when I hadn't had time to properly edit the ones I'd taken with my camera. I have promised myself not to use it so much now that I'm not travelling everyday because it does make one rather lazy).

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these and feel free to follow me there on instagram if you wish so. And if you're a friend of mine who's having your exams, all the best of luck!! I will post the other photos as soon as I have them edited, as well as blog about my London trip from a few months back.

classic California: wide roads called boulevards and palm trees.
spot the clapperboard in the window of one of the shops in Disneyland's California Adventure theme park
the theme park decorated for christmas
the first golden sunset I saw from the inn where we stayed
lights at the theme park at night
I fell in love with a little black bear in one of the Disney shops and while this is highly unlikely, it happened and I just had to bring him back. My dad bought him for me as a Christmas present and he is now my little cuddle buddy. I'm so mature.
Old theatres in downtown LA
A little Mexican town we visited.
the most interesting skulls for sale inside one of the Mexican shops.
my favourite: golden hour.
the temporary gold between palm trees.
morning at the inn, before going to breakfast.
snowcapped mountains seen through the bus window.
feet on desert sand.
the Colorado river running through the Grand Canyon. It was magnificent.
we walked for two miles through a winter wonderland with the Grand Canyon on our right all while playing with the snow that we were surrounded with. I literally froze my butt when I sat on the snow and it went in my jeans.
saying goodbye to Las Vegas. I didn't belong there one bit.
the mall in Hollywood.
look closely and you can see the Walk of Fame.
Hollywood boulevard.
Universal Studios.
a scene from the War of the Worlds' set.
LA as seen from the top at Universal Studios.
Santa Monica pier.
catching strangers.
the walk down the pier.
plankton-size surfers in the distance. I wish I could surf.
a pelican on the pier who posed for me.
tyre-track clouds across the sky.
driving to small towns.
mission centre at Santa Barbara.
at a small town called Arroyo Grande where I had ice-cream from a place called the Ice-cream Factory, and lunch.
finding the original 'instagram' inside an antique shop
leftovers of autumn.
carpet at the front door of where we had lunch.