Monday, May 23, 2011

things worth living for

In case of emergency, spread your wings and fly.

These are some photos from a trip for a barbecue in the middle of the English countryside. These hills speckled with lamb always give me some of the most pleasurable deja vu as they remind me of all the holidays I'd once been on with my family. It made me miss them so much, and I wished that they could all be here to share it with me. 

It would then be my dad who was driving, my mum in the passenger seat being herself -which I can feel, even right now- and the three of us kids in the back. We would maybe sometimes quarrel and argue, and my dad wouldn't be too pleased -or maybe he would join in, sometimes- but then we would see the world that is passing us by outside and all eyes would turn towards the glass squares. We would praise the greenery, and try to describe the sheep and occasionally, grazing cows or horses. 

White sheep with black faces. Weird.

And this was the place we were at.

I apologise for the lack of photos. Firstly, because I was really hungry even before we got there, so Ever was just slung across my neck while I feasted on the food that they had there. Secondly, the photos I take from a moving vehicle, especially at dusk never fails to pale in comparison to the actual sights that are sometimes indescribable glorious, that I just get sick of lifting the camera to my eyes and missing them from my own real eyes. At times, I'd felt like I was being selfish, that I was not sharing what wonder I had. But it wasn't even as good, what I could capture, and I figured that me truly enjoying it albeit on my own was better. They would in turn give me inspiration which I could turn into something like this.

That day, I imagined that my eyes were a marvellous film camera, the best in the world, and that I was 'filming' all that I saw. They would then immediately transfer to the minds of my family, and in that way, I was sharing it.
I'm not sure if that happened, that they received it. But it did make me feel good.

By the way, these photographs above aren't even edited. They're in the rawest form that Ever had given to me. Let us just see it through her eye sometimes. 

ps. On that day, I got to play on the piano as well. The first time in months since I came here. It was a classic grand piano, against a royal purple wall. Due to laziness and thus a lack of practice back when I was much younger, I'm not actually really good at playing the piano. But right then, I did truly miss it so much that I just played without thinking. Without being self-conscious of the fact that there were about fifty people in the same house, and that there were people around me -some filming on their mobile phones out of curiosity. I played like no one was listening; I played for me, and I am proud of that.

It was a wonderful day. One of my best even, perhaps. I met a lovely French girl there who invited me out for ice-cream a few days later. I hope that we'll be friends. 
And to think that I almost didn't go because I had an assignment due the next day. I paid for that by working till early in the morning though, till I could almost drop dead that I went to sleep and finished the work the next day before class. But I still think that it was worth it. It is these that we live for. :)

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