finding it all

I know how things are back to some relative kind of normal when I'm up till past two in the morning again editing photos and working on blogposts. Yet, it's the coldest at this time of day and I wish you were here and I would sneak into you beneath those sheets where we would cuddle.

I haven't spoken much about it, told much about it to anyone apart from those who have seen it for themselves. It's not that I'm deliberately hiding anything, I am just left without much words. This came in whole; it knew its shape before rolling into me, bursting into the prettiest sparks I've ever known. Words are mostly signposts pointing into the directions which the writer intends, but for the places on which your feet currently stands, the things you feel and know so much till every atom vibrates to the resonance of the syllable 'yes'; suddenly you realise that words aren't needed anymore. That's the way it is with you. When there are no doubts to this, all you know you have to do is leap because faith and love is the wind that catches you. You only have to steer after the jump.

I am wholly embraced by you the way our souls intertwined. I wrote you a short letter on intense red paper, reconfirming that we are extensions of each other. The thought that we might have to possess each other -what others are often misled to think that their partners are 'theirs'- seems weird because the thought that you might be something separate from me just doesn't seem right. After all, you can lose something you own, but not something that is essentially you.

I love you. I now know what they mean when they say that someday you will meet someone who will make you realise why it never worked out with any others before, because one of the first things I realised at the beginning of us was how glad I was that no one else had ever worked out or stayed because you are the perfectly right one. And now I have it. I'm just dipping in and out and in and out and in awe at how beautifully perfect it is (because no one can stay in love. Who would want to, imagine how boring it would get. It's about falling again and again and again for the same person).

x