all the difference in the world.

do you feel your words when you write them? or are you just repeating what others say.

x

There were so many times I wanted to say sorry; sorry for everything. Like the times I allowed months and more months to crawl by before I manage to send off a reply to the message you wrote me years ago; the times I stood aside and did nothing when all I wanted was everything; the times I wished I'd been able to hold you up when the hurricane danced past and the ground beneath swayed. I'm sorry for not being as happy as often as I wish I could be. And still a thousand more times, but I never did. I never did because apologies have no power in all the other greater things like love.

Love, oh love. What do we know about love. I could write all about it for this entire lifetime and further still, but love isn't about length or quantity. Love is and only can be in the present, this very moment. It is that alignment of energy, what they call peace, harmony, the gentle swoon in your heart when everything feels right. Perhaps it is those times when another speaks the exact same words as you; those times where you discover a part of you in another; those times conversations just go on and on because the interaction feels so good; and also, maybe in those full silences. Something I think I have yet to learn because I still feel the need to fill those hollows between me and another with words and meanings; maybe I'm still too young to sit in silence with another...

This isn't a post of anything but just of me writing. Scratching out the chaos that has been trudging thoughts in my mind of late, when I'd much rather they be light and skip. And if it has been to you that I haven't been writing back to (which I'm also pretty sure it's you, even if we haven't been writing to one another but just of you reading my blog, because I haven't been posting much recently and I'm trying to right that), know that I am deeply sorry and I'm just trying to lean back into the waters of writing and I'll write you a beautiful piece.

Talk soon.
x

black holes and revelations.

Here are a few more photos from my shoot with Laura Irvine a few months back that I finally got around to edit. 

Model: Laura Irvine

Photographer: Yi Lin T

Wardrobe: Model's own

MUA: Shauneen Moynagh

And a behind-the-scenes with Shauneen who was our MUA.

If you're interested in a shoot with me, don't hesitate to send me an email at tayylin(at)gmail.com!

x

january

letter and present from the loveliest Alexis!

January's a mess of unplans; days blending into one another without the blocks of class schedules. I allow my days to drain away until I realise and feel absolutely so terrible and just bounce back up again. Yesterday, I craved to be busy again like I had been weeks ago before I realised that what I wanted was actually to be in the mood for things; to be alive. And then sometimes I find it again.

Today I edited the photos I'd taken on a photo walk with my friend a few days ago and discovered that I was pleased with them.

And the last one is a box parcel from wonderful Madeline. The postman hadn't managed to catch me at home, so he left a slip instead asking me to collect it from the main post office instead. So that morning, I got up at eight and left after breakfast, finding my way with google maps, and three people along the way, who finally managed to direct me to the right place. It was all worth it though. 

I felt like I'd walked the entire town that day and my limbs ached. Still, that reminded me of travelling and I'd choose it over hiding away in my room all day.

x

snowww

so it has finally snowed here and I'm ridiculously excited about it. I'm all jumpy and happy and keep skipping to the window to watch the flakes flutter down. I had even walked through the falling dripples to get my camera which I had left at home, and so here's a photo I'd gotten :)

(on flickr)

x